Good Will Showing
by Fairady
Summary: Kankurou must have done something really bad in a past life to deserve this. Kankurou x Naruto


Disclaimer: I neither claim to own these characters, nor do I claim to make any money off of writing this. Mostly because that's the absolute truth.

Warnings: Strong language, boy kissage.

Notes: Started ages ago for the LJ community, Narutophrase. Way before it became a claiming place. It took so long to finish because Kankurou's voice kept evolving as I wrote and I had to rewrite a lot.

Prompt: "He-llooo. Is anyone in that airy head of your's? We can't go that way, the will eat us."  
"Ano, what's a ?"

Good Will Showing  
by fairady

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One of the many downsides of becoming a Chuunin, Kankurou had been quick to learn, was that he was now expected to do his own share of training the younger generation. Kankurou hated kids. Especially snot nosed brats barely old enough to walk without having their hands held, never mind the measly five mile trek he'd been forced to supervise.

The sniveling, the whining, the fighting, the damned _singing_- If there was any sort of divine god in the universe, he would strike the puppeteer dead to spare him the walk back to the Village. Right now.

Kankurou waited expectantly but no divine bolt of lightning appeared to end his misery.

"Damn," Kankurou muttered.

"Huh?" Uzumaki Naruto turned around and frowned. "What is it?"

He really shouldn't have hoped for anything. He'd known there was no god when he'd been "asked" to show Uzumaki how this training went. No god, no matter how evil, could ever be that cruel to him.

"Nothing," Kankurou growled before turning to look over the straggling line of red-faced, panting brats. "Oi! Hurry the hell up, it's getting dark and we still have a mile to go! Hey, brat! Get your ass back in line!"

Something that was probably a boy -hard to tell gender with the brats sometimes- jumped at his shout, and immediately started whining. "But I hav'ta-"

"I don't care!" Kankurou glared murderously at the quaking brat. "If you don't keep your sorry ass in line I'll use you as bait for the hyenas! Got it?"

"Yes, sir," the boy stuttered as he fell back in line with the others.

They were moving faster now. Pleased Kankurou turned back around and saw Uzumaki's face. "What?"

"You're an asshole," the blonde growled. "The kid just wanted to take a piss."

"If he can't hold it one more mile then he can just go in his pants," If he hadn't already. Kankurou smirked. "This is training, not a damn picnic."

"Yeah, but you don't have to be such an ass about it!" Uzumaki yelled back, and-

Shit. There it was, again. Kankurou flinched back and raised one hand up protectively. Not that there was a damn thing he could do against _that_.

Uzumaki was pouting. Behind the red-faced anger and screamed insults the blond Nin was pouting. And that pout made Kankurou want to do things. Things that would undoubtedly scar the little brats behind them for life. Not that he really cared, but they wouldn't keep their yaps shut about it and some uptight parent was bound to make a fuss. Those things would then get back to Gaara, and Kankurou would then be slowly murdered in ways that would make the oldest and crustiest interrogation specialists wince.

"Hey! Are you listening to me dumbass?!" Uzumaki stopped his tirade and pouted more. Which shouldn't have been possible.

Why did they have to make him take the blond? Why?! Kankurou didn't think he could take this any longer. Desperately looking for a distraction he turned back towards the brats, and stopped cold. "Shit."

"Huh?" Uzumaki shuffled behind him. "What is- Where'd they go?"

Kankurou ignored him and broke into a run. The trail they were following was pretty well marked and easy to follow despite its winding through the canyons. There were only a few turn offs and it wasn't long before the puppeteer had found and overtaken the kids.

"The hell are you doing!?" The brats shrieked in abject fear when he landed in front of them. A few even threw weapons, which would've impressed him more if they'd come anywhere close to hitting him. "Is there anything in those airy heads of yours!? You go this way and the hyenas will eat you! Didn't you see the damn sign?!"

The little brats all cowered and stammered trying to come up with an answer. Kankurou snorted in disgust, he was _never_ having kids, he wouldn't be able to deal with this on a regular basis.

"Um, what's a hyena?"

"What's a-" Kankurou blinked and looked at Uzumaki, who tilted his head curiously. "You Leaf people don't have 'em I'm guessing."

"Well, no shit," Uzumaki growled. "I wouldn't of asked if I knew what it was."

"Hard to tell with you," Kankurou smirked and ignored the blond's sputterings. "Hyenas aren't a big problem. Just scavengers, nothing anyone can't handle. 'Cept these little shits," Kankurou hiked his thumb towards the silent kids. "If there's a large enough pack of hyenas they wouldn't stand a chance. Get ripped up into bloody shreds of meat."

A muffled whimper escaped from one of the kids. Weak little brats, how the hell were they going to be shinobi if a little hyena spooking scared them?

"Yeah," Kankurou rounded on the kids, "and if you're lucky they kill ya with the first attack. Sometimes they don't do that. Sometimes you're still alive when they start to tear into you. You get to watch as they chew your guts up, and-"

"Hey!" Uzumaki shouted, a few of the brats screeched. "Why don't you just leave them alone? They're scared enough as it is, no need to scare them further. Besides the sun's going down."

Well shit. Glowering at the quickly fading sun Kankurou barked, "Get moving! And this time you sorry asses better keep up 'cause I'm not stopping to hold your hand anymore. If we're not at the camp site before that sun disappears I'll make all of you do night patrols. With the hyenas!"

Nothing like a good dose of fear to make a person really move. Kankurou smirked as the cowed brats jogged to keep up. If they kept this speed up they just might be able to set up their tents before the last bit of light disappeared. Then all he'd have to deal with was Uzumaki.

He really wasn't looking forward to that, he could _feel_ the glare from his left. Thankfully the blond kept his trap shut until well after they'd finally reached their destination and set camp. Maybe there was some sort of god after all, albeit a real sadistic one.

"They're just kids," Kankurou rolled his eyes as Uzumaki started in on it again.

"Look, I know things're done differently in your Village. This," Kankurou waved towards the lumped together brats, "is how we do it in ours. So get off my freakin' back about it."

"You don't have to be mean about it!" Uzumaki readily picked up the earlier threads of their conversation, and seemed intent to finish it this time.

Kankurou tried to ignore Uzumaki's continuing tirade about his assholishness. For his own survival, if nothing else, he truly did try. He couldn't be held accountable for the fact that Uzumaki _persisted_ in fighting dirty could he? He'd had one hell of a shitty day, and another full one to look forward to in the morning. He really couldn't be held accountable for his actions when the blond started _pouting_ again.

It was as good of an excuse as any.

"Quit ignoring me you- Hey!" Uzumaki protested loudly as Kankurou grabbed him by that ridiculous orange jacket and dragged him into the tent he'd set up. Uzumaki protested and pouted the whole way. "Now you're just asking for me to kick your-"

So he shut him up with a kiss, the most damnable cliché in the world. Fuck if Kankurou cared though. It _worked_. And since he was already just a dead man walking he was damn well going to enjoy his last night alive.

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End file.
